Courage

Today was yet another day of firsts. It marked my first outdoor run in the new city, and my first day back to my Run the Edge plan since the fire.  

I would like to say it was an epic run. That I flew out on fresh legs and set a new PR. Little birds and woodland animals sang happy songs and cheered me on as I ran past, smiling all the way...

The truth is it was awful. There were no happy birds or woodland animals. I didn't know where I was going and ended up running a long stretch of sidewalk right next to an ultra busy road. To access said stretch I had to make it through a few busy intersections with impatient drivers unwilling to let me utilize the pedestrian crossings. My legs felt like complete and utter crap. I had pain from my hip clear to my ankle on the left and not much better on the right. Breathing felt hard and my arms felt stiff. 

It's runs like this that make me come home, flop down and say "Nah girl….you're good. Who wants to run 26.2 anyhow. Go get yourself some cheetos and pour a drink. Turn on netflix and try your hardest to move as little as possible. You wouldn't want to strain yourself, you have a CONDITION!" 

Then I have to pick myself up, go take a shower, ice my battle wounds and remind myself how much I want this. I have a painting on the dresser in my room done by my baby sister. It features the quote

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes Courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I'll try again tomorrow." 

As for me, I choose courage. 

Moving Fiercely Forward

If you know me you've probably heard me reference Ashley Johns and Fierce Forward more than a few times. 

My love affair with Fierce Forward started about 3 years ago. I saw a photo of a vivacious looking blonde with a dynamite smile on bodybuilding.com and wondered who she was. I did some digging and discovered her name was Ashley and she was the creator of Fierce Forward. I was immediately drawn to her style and the zest for life she conveyed through her writing. Her no B.S approach to life and fitness was so refreshing. She wasn't afraid to tell it like it was, the struggles, and the successes. 

Over the years I've had the pleasure of watching FF grow. Ashley works to empower others both through the message she promotes as well as her use of African Trade Beads to build her line of intention bracelets, lovingly referred to as "Armor".  She conveys a genuine warmth and caring through her writing and online presence that has drawn in more than 40,811 (at last count) people to her Facebook page alone. In Ashley's own words "Fierce Forward is a mantra that empowers you to live the life you want to live and discover that loving yourself is the most important job you have."

I am beyond thrilled to announce that I have joined her team as an Ambassador! The movement to provide FIERCE empowerment for the mind, body and soul is growing every day and I am honored to be a part of it. 

If you haven't already you need to take a moment to visit www.fierceforwardforlife.com

You can get daily motivation right in your inbox by subscribing to the daily Coffee Chat. Find a delicious new recipe for a healthy meal, give life to your intention by building your Armor (it's as fun AND stylish as it sounds…trust me!) and read the stories of other Fierce Fighters just like you and I.

For me being Fierce means living boldly, facing challenges head on, and refusing to give up on yourself.

I'd love for you to join the Fierce Forward Nation and tell us what it means to you!

Firecracker 5K Race Recap

Happy Independence Day! 

Today was the annual Firecracker 5k and it was wonderful! It was an absolutely glorious morning, around 70 degrees with a perfect breeze. The day started at 6AM when my brothers, sisters, cousin, husband and I all rushing to get as much 'Merica into our outfits as we possibly could. When we all piled into the van to head to town it looked like Old Glory threw up in there, AWESOME! 

'Merica

The race starts at the track and it was so fun to see former school-mates as well as my Coach. All the smiling familiar faces made for a great way to start the day. 

We walked outside the track bounds and the race was on. I had decided earlier that I wanted to run without my watch and just go by my feels. I've been working on speed and today I chose a challenging pace but one I thought I could hold for the entire race.

It was the same roundabout course as every year but it seemed to fly by today. I don't know if it was the beautiful weather or the great vibes but I was loving it. The final stretch is along the track and as I ran it home no times were shouted out so I wasn't sure how I did but I wasn't concerned. 

In the end it turns out I missed a medal by a minute and 42 seconds but I was still all smiles. My brother Dan, sister Christa, and cousin James all brought home some hardware and my crazy outfit got lots of laughs from the people in town cheering us on, which made running in hot, not-so-strechy, American Flag tight's totally worth it. 

Today, my friends, was a good day!

The 2014 Firecracker Crew

Cultivating Gratitude

With all the challenges I've been facing recently I've noticed myself start to struggle with morale. It happens to all of us, we get bogged down, focusing on all of the negatives in our lives and forget to stop and be grateful for all of the beautiful things.  

It sounds so simple, but for the past week or so I've been doing an exercise with myself I like to call cultivating gratitude. I try to start first thing in the morning, but I use this any time worry or stress starts to take hold of me. I take a moment to think about things I am grateful for in my life and say a prayer of thanks. It is such a simple and basic act, I'm almost embarrassed to say I've had to work on doing it, but it truly does leave my spirit refreshed and my mind less troubled. 

For example, last night I was pounding out my miles on the treadmill and started to think to myself 

"Augh, I hate this. I just can't stand the treadmill! It's so boring, my ankles hurt. Am I done yet!?" 

I decided I needed to change my mental channel. I made a choice to turn off the negative talk and remind myself  

"I am so lucky to be here and have the ability to run! If I get up earlier I could even run outside! This is hard but every mile is putting me further towards my goal. I can finish this run strong and make myself proud!" 

It's a simple act of choosing the positive over the negative. I say it again, choose the positive!

You are as happy as you choose to be! No one and nothing can take that power away from you. What a tremendous gift! 

Here is to counting our blessings and using this gift every day! 

The race that wasn't

"I'm not even supposed to be here today." I thought to myself as I plodded along on the treadmill.

It was Saturday morning, and I was in no mood. 3 months ago I had registered for a 5k that was taking place this morning. My friends had all wanted to do a "color run" and though I prefer to run through mud over colored powder I agreed, and was even excited to try out the newest trend to rock the running world. 

Then life happened. My husbands fledgling company took off and he moved to Minnesota for work as I stayed behind tying up loose ends and taking care of the kids until we could find a place with enough room for our family. Then came the fire which pushed the boys and I out of the house sooner than we had planned and left us on our own in a new city, with no childcare (T being away at AT with the National Guard) 170 miles from where I was supposed to be racing at that very moment.

Instead of laughing my way through rainbow colored powder clouds with my girlfriends I was sweating it out on a treadmill, mourning the loss of my $45 entry fee, sandwiched between 2 men who apparently haven't seen a single old spice commercial, much less sampled the products. 

I'm not going to lie, I came pretty close to "Breaking the Dam: Part Deux" but was able to hold off the waterworks. It was the final blow to a pretty crushing week, and I was struggling with my attitude. But in the end, though it wasn't nearly as much fun, I still got up and put in miles. There would be other races and I would be ready for them. 

I take comfort in the fact that there are other runners out there who would be equally as miffed as I am. So let us have a collective "that sucks" sigh followed by a moment of silence for the race that wasn't.

Then let's suck it up, and smile for all the races still to come. 

What is your intention?

This morning over breakfast I was paging through the Womens Health Big Book of Yoga by Kathryn Budig and came across a section bluntly entitled "What is your Intention?" My first thought was "Woah, I haven't even finished my coffee yet!" As I read on I learned it was a section to monitor my practice. I could fill it out before beginning, then check back in as time elapsed to see how my answers evolved. I went to turn the page thinking that I was beyond something as simple as answering a few questions, but I stopped and set the ego aside. I was starting from not much more than scratch when it comes to yoga practice. Did I want to learn? Yes. Was I open to learning? Yes. Was I willing to accept guidance from someone with more experience than me? Of course.

So with pen and paper in hand I dug in. As I am writing this I am keenly aware that I've promised to be real and transparent with you. I've spent some time thinking and decided that when it comes to this particular exercise I want so much to share it with you, I am keeping my own responses private, all except one. I wanted to answer each question honestly, without fear of judgement effecting what I wrote. I didn't want to worry about whether my thoughts were "right" or "wrong" my sole purpose was honesty with myself, what leads to the single question I am sharing with you. The question said "My goal for the next year is: " 

When I answered I wrote, almost before I became aware of it "to live a life of truth, both to my myself and my loved ones. To learn to honestly love myself for who I am and how I was created, not hate myself for what I am not".

I am only human, and though I may not like it, I do care what others think of me. Though I want to be courteous of others and how my decisions affect them, my goal is still to be true to myself and who I am, who I want to be part of my life, and how I want to spend my time. To me, this is living honestly, and that is my intention. 

I want to take this opportunity to grow and refine my character, and I am hoping you will be able to do the same. The following are the questions included in the exercise. Regardless of whether you are practicing yoga or not I think there is so much to learn about yourself by answering these thoughtfully and honestly as you can. Introspection can be terrifying as well as enlightening. I think it takes courage, and today is your day to be courageous! 

What's your Intention?

1. I am practicing yoga because:
2. I am happiest when I think about:
3. My goal for the next month is:
4. My goal for the next year is:
5. My top two challenge poses are:
6. My most humbling experience on the mat was:
7. My fears in life are:
8. I love:
9. What makes me smile instantly is:
10. My favorite part of my own body is:
11. My top five unique gifts are:
12. My favorite yoga pose is:
13. My least favorite yoga pose is:

I am looking forward to being able to see how I learn and grow as I add yoga to the mix of marathon training. Taking the first steps towards something unfamiliar is hard, and even at the ripe age of 28 I sometimes find myself thinking I'm too old to try something new. I'm making the choice to push those thoughts aside and move forward, knowing that there is no time limit on starting from scratch and if I give this a chance I'll be glad I did. 

Today I wish you not only happy training but happy writing as well. Take the time to really stop and think. Decide, for yourself. Not for your friends, your family, or your boss, for you. 

What is your intention? 

In with the good

I've taken a renewed interest in yoga lately. It's always been on my radar and I've dabbled, gone to a handful of vinyasa classes, bought a few DVDs but never really devoted myself to my practice. As I've just dipped my toe into marathon training I'm already noticing some issues in terms of back/knee pain and muscle soreness (to be expected) but my biggest concern is feeling so stiff when I run. Some of it could be due in part to the fact that I am currently knocking out my miles on the treadmill, but even prior to that I felt like there were days where my body had just forgotten how to move. No matter how thoroughly I warmed up and stretched my movement just didn't feel quite right. 

My hope is that committing to a regular yoga practice (3 times a week for me) I will be able to regain some of the flexibility and ease of movement that I know was once mine. I honestly believe it will make me a better runner! Since I was without a mat I went in search of one. I wanted something of good quality, with style, that could last for quite some time. I had remembered seeing a post on Fierce Forward some time back praising "Affirmats" for their quality and style. I checked out their website (find it here) and was very impressed! I ended up ordering from their summer collection.

I decided on the "I am free" mantra. It really spoke to me, and though I only just received my mat yesterday I enjoy just looking at it. Last night I laid it out to do some stretching and a few simple poses at the end of my day, it really did bring a smile to my face. 

As I am planning to work on my practice at home I had taken off for the library where I checked out their copy of The Women's Health Big Book of Yoga on recommendation from a close friend and blossoming yogi. The information and illustrations in the book are so helpful and even though I'm still missing blocks and a few other pieces of equipment there is plenty for me to work on in the meantime. 

I know my desire to dig deeper into yoga has come in part from all of the personal challenges I've faced recently. I feel like this is a great opportunity to harness my stress, anxiety, and self doubt and turn it into peace, serenity and self confidence. Honestly, who doesn't need more of that!? And on that note, I leave you with this mantra, because every time you find the humor in a tough situation, you win! 

Wishing you a hearty laugh and happy training!